Ozy And Millie: Book reports are boring

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Notes: Small white-out correction in panel 4.

  6 comments for “Ozy And Millie: Book reports are boring

  1. Okay, song from a “Peanuts” musical going in my head. At least 4 ways there to mess up a book report. Procrastination, “the very, very, very end” (word count filler), writing a synopsis of another book, and possibly writing above teacher’s understanding…

    • [LUCY]
      A book report on Peter Rabbit, Peter Rabbit, Peter ra-
      [LINUS (overlapping)]
      A book report on Peter Rabbit, Peter ra-
      [SCHROEDER (overlapping)]
      A book report on Peter Rabbit, ra-
      [CHARLIE BROWN (overlapping)]
      A book report on Peter ra-
      [ALL]
      -Abbit.
      [LUCY]
      Peter Rabbit is this stupid book
      About this stupid rabbit who steals
      Vegetables from other peoples’ gardens
      [She counts the words so far]
      Hmm. 83 to go.
      [SCHROEDER]
      The name of the book about which
      This book report is about is
      Peter Rabbit which is about this
      Rabbit.
      I found it very-
      I liked the part where-
      It was a-
      It reminded me of “Robin Hood”
      And the part where Little John jumped from the rock
      To the Sheriff of Nottingham’s back.
      And then Robin and everyone swung from the trees
      In a sudden surprise attack.
      And they captured the sheriff and all of his goods
      And they carried him back to their camp in the woods
      And the sheriff was guest at their dinner and all
      But he wriggled away and he sounded the call
      And his men rushed in and the arrows flew-
      Peter Rabbit did sort of that kind of thing too.
      [LUCY]
      The other people’s name was Macgregor.
      [counts to 23]
      Ohh!
      [LINUS]
      In examining a book such as Peter Rabbit, it is important that
      the superficial chracteristics of its deceptively simple plot
      should not be allowed to blind the reader to the more substancial
      fabric of its deeper motivations. In this report I plan to discuss the
      sociological implications of family pressures so
      great as to drive an otherwise moral rabbit to
      perform acts of thievery which he consciously knew were
      against the law. I also hope to explore the personlaity of Mr.
      Macgregor in his comflicting roles as farmer and humanitarian.
      Peter Rabbit is established from the start as a benevolent hero
      and it is only…
      [CHARLIE BROWN (overlapping)]
      If I start writing now
      When I’m not really rested
      It could upset my thinking
      Which is no good at all.
      I’ll get a fresh start tomorrow
      And it’s not due till Wednesday
      So I’ll have all of Tuesday
      Unless something should happen.
      Why does this always happen,
      I should be outside playing
      Getting fresh air and sunshine,
      I work best under pressure,
      And there’ll be lots of pressure
      If I wait till tomorrow
      I should start writing now.
      But I if I start writing now
      When I’m nbot really rested
      It could upset my thinking
      Which is
      No good at all.
      [LUCY]
      The name of the rabbit was Peter
      [counts to 30]
      Yes!
      [SCHROEDER]
      Down came the staff on his head- smaah!
      And Robin fell like a sack full of lead- crash!
      The sheriff laughed and he left him for dead- ah!
      But he was wring
      [LUCY]
      35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40.
      [SCHROEDER]
      Just then an arrow flew in- whing!
      It was a sign for the fight to begin- zing!
      And then it looked like the sheriff would win- ah!
      But not for long.
      Away they ran.
      Just lke rabbits.
      Who run a lot
      As you can tell
      From the story
      Of Peter Rabbit
      Which this report
      Is about.
      [SALLY/SNOOPY]
      Rabbits rabbits rabbits rabbits…
      [CHARLIE BROWN]
      How do they expect us to
      Write a book report
      Of any quality
      In just two days
      How can they
      Conspire to
      Make life so mis’rable
      And so effectively
      In so many ways
      [LUCY]

      There were vegetables
      In the garden

      Such as carrots and spinach
      And onions and lettuce
      And turnips and parsley
      And okra and cabbage
      And string beans ans parsnips
      Tomatoes, potatoes, asparagus
      Cauliflower, rhubarb and chives.
      [LINUS]
      Not to mention the extreme pressure exterted on him
      bu his deeply rooted rivalry with Flopsy, Mopsy and
      Cottontail!
      [SALLY/SNOOPY]
      Rabbits, rabbits, chasing rabbits…
      [CHARLIE]
      If I start
      Writing now
      When I’m not
      Really rested
      It could
      Upset my
      Thinking
      Which is
      Not good
      At all
      Not good
      At all.
      Oh.
      First thing
      After dinner
      I’ll start
      [SCHROEDER]
      The name of
      The book
      A bout which
      This book
      Report is
      About is

      Peter Rabbit,
      Peter Rabbit

      All for one
      Ev’ry man
      Does his part

      Oh.
      [LINUS]
      What drove

      An otherwise
      Moral rabbit

      To perform
      Acts of

      Thievery?
      Thievery!

      Sociological
      Implications
      Fam’ly
      Pressure

      Simple plot
      [LUCY]
      Peter Rabbit
      Is this stupid
      Book about this
      Stupid rabbit
      Who steals
      Vegetables
      From other
      Peoples’
      Gardens.

      Gardens,
      Gardens,

      75,76

      77,78,79,80
      81,
      82.
      [SNOOPY/SALLY]
      Rabbit
      Chasing
      Rabbit
      Chasing
      Rabbit
      Chasing
      Rabbit

      Chasing!
      Chasing!

      Rabbits,
      Rabbits
      Chasing
      Rabbits
      Find a rabbit
      Do or die!
      [LUCY]
      And they were very, very, very, very, very, very
      Happy to be home.
      [SCHROEDER/SALLY/SNOOPY]
      The end.
      [LUCY]
      …94, 95. The very, very, very end.
      [LINUS]
      A-men
      [CHARLIE BROWN]
      A book report on Peter Rab-
      [CHARLIE]
      -Bit

      Just start
      Writing

      You can do it

      Nothing to it

      Got to
      Start-
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      [SCHROEDER]
      Peter Rabbit
      Was
      A lot like
      Robin Hood

      Peter Rabbit
      Was
      A lot like
      Robin Hood

      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      [LINUS]
      Sociological

      Implications

      Joined with

      Familial
      Condemnations

      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      [LUCY]
      Peter Rabbit
      Peter Rabbit
      Peter Rabbit
      Peter Rabbit
      Peter Rabbit
      Peter Rabbit
      Peter Rabbit
      Peter Rabbit

      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      [SNOOPY/SALLY]
      Rabbit!

      Rabbit!

      Rabbit!

      Rabbit!

      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      Rabbit!
      [CHARLIE BROWN]
      I haven’t even started yet!
      [ALL]
      Peter Rabbit!

  2. Sometimes I’m convinced that it’s better to fail in a humorous or spectacular fashion than it is to succeed in a boring fashion.

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