55 comments for “Ozy And Millie: Three kinds of people

  1. (5) People who wish it was lemonade,
    (6) People who claim they ordered a hamburger as well,
    (7) People who insist that due to the curve, it’s closer to 3/8,
    (8) People who insist that due to the curve it’s closer to 5/8,
    (9) People who get a graduated cylinder and a funnel to determine it scientifically,
    (10) People who believe the glass is really a kumquat sent by the Jupitarians to distract us,
    (11) People who steal it to go balance it over an open door,

  2. (12) People who just drink the darn glass of water while everyone else is debating the question.
    (13) People who check to make sure nobody spit in the glass before drinking from it. *Cough* Millie… *cough*.
    (14) People who raise the question of whether or not there really is, in fact, a glass of water at all.
    (15) People who make the glass of water into some kind of metaphor.
    (16) People who knock the glass of water over by accident.
    (17) People who didn’t know there WAS a glass of water.
    (18) The devious person who decided to spark endless philosophical debates by filling up a glass to half of its maximum capacity just to spite us.

  3. Simpson, I am very sorry, but this must be the one time, ever, when the comments section has been funnier than your comic.

  4. (20) The people who want to be sure that the water is not helping the daleks to invade earth.
    (21) The people who are smart enough to find some water and add some more water to the glass.

    • (23) The grammar Nazi just happily (or unhappily) sitting there, having a field day correcting everyone.
      “The people who just don’t care…”
      (can’t find a grammatically correct way to keep the statement any truer to the original form)

  5. (25) The people that ask what is in the half which is not filled with water (http://what-if.xkcd.com/6)
    (26) (same reference) The people that take the time to explain what happens in each scenario
    (27) The people that wait to find out what other options there are for opinion on the water before taking any opinion *cough* Avery… *cough*
    (28) The people that merely ignore the half-filled glass and quaff the full one sitting beside it.
    (29) The people that start a collection of ways of viewing a glass of water
    (30) The surrealists that see a clone of Elvis dancing on the head of a pin, and subsequently try to count the pins.

  6. (31) The people who would prefer to see the glass as nothing more than a vessel whose contents demand to have their phase altered. Violently.

  7. (34) The people who put the various ways to view a half-full glass on a t-shirt and make millions (http://www.despair.com/points-of-view.html).
    (35) The people who drink the glass of water to stop the endless debate.
    (36) Populi qui transferrunt “vitreum scaphium aquae” in Latinam et neglegunt ipsum vitreum scaphium.

  8. (38) The people who wish that the glass would cease to be used as a way of determining philosophical viewpoint and would like to see more nuanced questions being used, perhaps that of Themistocles’ Ship.

  9. And then there’s me… I insist that whether a glass of water is half full or half empty depends solely on whether the glass was previously less than half full then filled more, or if the glass was previously more than half full then partially emptied.

    • (40a) The good engineers who realize the value of a generous safety margin to avoid spillage.

      Also, to be prepared for when marketing comes along and says: “The customer decided they need the glass to hold 50% more than specified, but they don’t want to pay extra for the redesign and they need it a week before the original delivery date. I told them it’s no problem.”

  10. (41) People who will raise a royal fuss until the glass is filled all the way.
    (42) People who will sue for false advertising.
    (43) People who suggest that since it is not 100% pure water, anyway, the point is moot.
    (44) People who will freeze the water so that it expands and takes up more space in the glass.
    (45) People who point out that we shouldn’t be assuming that it’s water in the glass since nothing in the comic ever suggested this.

  11. (41) The historical re-enactors who declare that glass drinking vessels aren’t period and start debating whether the tankard is half full or half empty.
    (42) The nerds who wonder whether the fullness or emptiness of the glass may in fact be the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything.
    (43) The people who go out of their way to phrase the answer in such a way that it avoids using either term eg. “The level of fluid in this container is exactly at the halfway mark”.
    (44) The people who find a glass half the size, empty the first one into the second one and are satisfied that they now have one full glass, one empty glass and no tricky questions.

  12. (45) The people who were cleaning the goldfish bowl, so it’s not the “half filled with water” that worries them

    (46)The chemists who are occupied with testing the samples so only were interested in filling the glass far enough from each source to do the test

  13. (48 (since there were 2 33s)) mathematicians who argue that since a contiguous object with no holes can be changed into any shape without tearing, it is equivalent to any other non-loop object made of glass and that comparisons of its interior volume are a moot point

  14. 51. The people who will throw the water in someone’s face.
    52. The people who ignore the glass and just eat the snacks.
    53. The people who get themselves a full glass.
    54. The people who complain that the water has reached room temperature, due to all the arguing.
    56. The people who are allergic to the water (yes that can happen).

  15. (57) The people who pour an unknown substance into the water and then duck, causing a panic the water changes color.
    (58) The people who will then take advantage of said panic, and drink the kool-aid.

  16. 60. The people (well, at least me) who are very glad that they are re-reading this comic, since I so clearly missed reading this wonderful “discussion” all the previous times!

  17. 65 (Due to a double-up on 41-44): Random nobodies who insist on contributing to the gag more than a year after the last time it was extended.

    • I am not random, Random! Or perhaps you meant your own post rather than mine, since I was only 10 months and you are indeed over a year?

  18. 61. The physicist that realizes that the glass is mostly empty space and if the half full situation was true we would all be dead by now. This one actually applies to the glass

  19. 61. The people who set fire to the water
    62. The people who take the glass as a sign to start the social revolution.
    63. The people who view the glass as something that turns the frogs gay.
    64. Folka som ignorerer glasset og ender opp med å skrive norsk i stedet
    65. The people who say that it is an objective fact that the glass is half full.
    66. The people who say that it is an objective fact that the glass is half full.
    67. The people who say that it doesn’t matter if it is half full or half empty, it is still water… (that turns the frogs gay)
    68. Me (a idiot).

  20. 69. The people who pour it onto lava and make obsidian, which they make a tiny nether portal with, which they go through, and then they’re giant, then they make another nether portal that’s normal size, then the go back into the Overworld and they’re giant. GROWTH RAY SORTA

  21. 78. The people who take the glass of water to Niagara Falls and pour it in.
    79. The people who make a tiny aquarium inside the glass.
    80. The people who ignore the glass and play video games.

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